How Sid the old found peace again

[Ert]

Sid had been innocent once. Ignorant of the ways of the world he made mistakes that lead him to become known as a murderer and an outcast. He felt shunned and secluded himself away from the world.
Word reached him of a new religion, one with its own town, with its own guards where your previous mistakes did not matter. After much thought he eventually put away his mage staff, he felt there should be more to life. He decided to join the new Order and was accepted as a monk. He had found purpose and finally felt like he belonged, he made friends for the first time in a long time.

Sid even traveled with them when further worlds were discovered, Malas where the Order claimed a proper city instead of the swamp they had carved out a living for themselves in before. He lived in the new city for a while, and all was good.

Then he heard something, news he could not ignore. He didn't tell anyone about it, but he knew he had to leave the order to seek out the news' source. He delayed as he could but it still tugged at him.
Sid finally returned his robe with a heavy heart yet he knew it was the only way, the journey he needed to take was his alone.

His journey was long and difficult and at its end he was at a loss, there was no simple answer to what he had been seeking, nothing a fancy act of magic could solve. He had just been too late. Maby if he had gone sooner, he told himself. Maby if he had brought someone along with him..

He retreated from the world, went into seclusion. A lone outcast with no answers to his own internal questions.
Then one day, it came to him, like a whisper of a memory. Words of his mentor now long gone: "Its not what happens that makes us who we are, its what we do about it that shows what we are really made out of."
Sid took a long hard look at himself, what had he done? Hid from the world? Pretended it didn't exist?
It was like his eyes had finally opened. It was what he would do from now on that mattered, he traveled back to Feluccia and found much had changed.

As he looked into the cities he had once known before he became unjustfully branded a murderer he saw many a guard dressed in the colors of his old Order.
He found himself smiling and as he remembered those long gone days, he discovered he missed them sorely. He sighed remorsefully and recalled to what he had made his home.

That night he could not sleep however. For the first time in a very long time, he felt truly alone. It had never bothered him before, why was this time any different? He stormed through the doors and headed into the dark forest, the moon was hidden by clouds so he found his way by memory to a little clearing not far from his make-shift home. He sat down, and started to meditate. Why was this bothering him so much, why now?

"I am what you miss the most, that is your answer."

The words came from somewhere behind him, Sid spun around expecting an ambush since he had been so deep in his own thoughts he had not heard them sneak up on him! Curses!
But there was no one there. Sid relaxed a bit with no obvious danger in sight but still crouched down and brought forth a magical light. The clearing was small, so his light illuminated the whole area, yet he saw no one.
But the voice had been close. He should be able to see them if..
Suddenly Sid felt a small familiar warmth inside of himself, something he had not felt in Years. It both startled and comforted him, filling something that had been left empty far too long.
He felt the touch of his old god, briefly but there could be no other thing it could be, it was too.. familiar.. too ..
Too long.
Sid felt like he couldn't speak, there was a lump in his throat the size of his fist. He dropped his spell book and fell to his knees, blood rushing to his head. It all felt too much to take in, the memories came back in a flood, The lost lands, time spent in Malas, his memories were like pellets in the whirlpool of emotion that assaulted him.
Then as quickly as it had begun, it was over. The glow.. the warmth, was gone too.
Sid stood up from the wet grass, "Had it been raining?" he wondered. "Why was his robe so wet?"
He realized he was drenched in sweat so he hurried home to change robes and warm himself up, he felt freezing.

When he arrived at his small hut he looked around, this wasnt home he realized. There was nothing here for him.
He remembered the voice he had heard, he had not recognized it at then since it had been so long, he knew the feeling that came with that voice. It had not been spoken by any mouth, of that he was certain. He also realized it had been right. There was only one it could be.

[Ert]

Sid summoned a bird and tried to quickly write a letter. After three summonings he gave up having the bird there while he wrote. He was out of practice!
When he finished his letter the sun was well on its way across the sky, morning had come and it was about midday.
Summoning the bird once more, he sent it off with the letter he had written to the head priest of the Order of Imperial.

Sid explained briefly the reasons of his departure from the Order, and his journey. But when he wrote of the voice he poured his own feelings onto the letter, how he had again discovered his place was with them. That had truly been Her voice, or his own memory of Her guiding him. It was his only place in the world.
And if they would have him, he would be glad to join them once more.