But seriously though, read the whole thing, and really liked it. When I start writing rp stories, I gotta keep writing them til they are long as fuck or I go to bed. But this was the longest for some time, and really nice, lots of effort in it.
The eerie silence, the absence of sound, sent chills along his spine. The sun was obscured by rain-heavy clouds, yet the day was hot. The mist rose like tendrils of steam from the dense jungle on the opposite side of the river, reaching out across the deceptively calm water. The legion had finally reached the bridge. There had been no opposition. Whether this could be attributed to the dreaded sight of Thayan banners in the old world or devilry by the natives was unknown. Around him stood the bravest of the brave, the Primus Cohors of his legion. Their faces, as if(added) carved in stone, were directed towards the distant shore. A thin coat of moisture covered their bronze-coloured skins and polished armor. Each man's shoulder plates featured a silver eagle. That was what they called him; Aquila. The wide-spread wings that formed the hilt of his sword felt as if they pulled him down. It would be easy to rest. He did not allow himself the weary sigh he felt entitled to. As the gathered men stood in silence, their sandal-clad feet sinking slowly into the soft ground, low noises were heard. The stomping of feet, the clatter of steel against steel, the grinding of leather straps. Cohort after cohort of soldiers formed on the river bank, until armor-clad warriors was all one could see in either direction. They seemed deceptively numerous. The mist cut his vision short.
A man cleared his throat, and he turned around.
"Avé Nevronis", the newcomer greeted him, and offered a salute. The fist against the breastplate produced an oddly muted thud. The son of Zulkir Nevrons' name hardly traveled outside the formation of soldiers. The quietness(Could change it to stillness, isn't needed though) in the air was unnerving.
He responded in kind to the greeting and saluted in return.
"Legate Aquila, General Torturos sends word. Advance under the sigil of victory."
Aquila turned away in silence, waiting for the messenger to depart before raising his hand.
"Sagitarii!", he commanded at the top of his voice. The sound of commotion in the ranks followed. The silence fell again, for a moment, before arrows fell in black arcs over the stream, burrowing in trees and vegetation, splintering against rocks, or splashing into the water.
"Fire!"
The bow strings sung again, and another swarm of arrows was launched and swallowed by the black jungle. It seemed even more difficult to discern the features of the wilderness now. It was as if the bombardment had added yet another layer of branches to the ill-grown, twisted trees. Which was not far from the truth. Sagitarii, Thayan archers, advanced ahead of the infantrymen, standing knee deep in water now and aiming squarely ahead.
"Fire!"
The last volley struck not like the massive, death dealing hammer from above, but as the scythe reaping the grain. Arrows traveled in flat trajectories, cutting deep into the jungle. Anything less than a fully armored warrior would have been ripped to pieces. Yet there was no sound. Aquila had anticipated the anguished screams of the wounded, but was only treated silence. There were no enemies hiding on the other side of their aquatic obstacle. Where the hell were they? The orders had arrived however and he could delay no longer. The signal to attack was made. A deep tone from one of the massive war horns ignited a fire in him, as always. All men who had fought in the legions knew the significance to the signal. Aquila raised his shield, having decided the strategy days before. The two first lines, solid walls of shields and armor five men wide, marched over the bridge. His line was the third, and his sandals made little sound against the wooden bridge as he crossed. Hundreds of Thayans advanced over the bridge into unexplored territory. To their comrades on the home stream bank, it seemed as if the mist swallowed them.
Just some things you might want to look at. I have to say Mike, I'm impressed. I'll give the others a look over later, but I'm no expert.
But this was the longest for some time, and really nice, lots of effort in it.